Oops

I did not realize that I'd agreed to go to midnight mass.

'Tis The Season

It's no secret that I dislike Christmas. I always have. Now that it's three days away I comfort myself with the fact that it can't come again for another year. So, yeah, I can't stand red and green or Christmas trees, Christmas music makes me hope for a coma, and I don't understand the idea of "Christmas spirit". I think being Jewish has a lot to do with it, but I digress.

This year I've agreed to attend a Christmas Eve dinner with some of my cousins and then go to church. This kind of thing is cringe-making for me, but I have pills for that, right? One of the nastiest surprises of my parent's divorce was the sudden demand that I eat Christmas dinner with the Jewish side of my family. That tradition seems to have abated at least for this year, so I guess I'm punishing myself with a church service? I don't know.

Anyhow, the one good thing I will say for the holiday season is that it brings about a swell of charity. Which is nice. And good. And stuff. Personally, I don't think we should just reserve one season for giving, but, whatever works. I think it's important to emphasize, however, that when it comes to charity it's important for people to be well informed about the organization(s) they're supporting. One hugely popular outlet for giving at the holidays is the Marine Toys for Tots Foundation. I'm sure you're familiar with the concept, seeing as the media is inundated with ads for them right about now, but it's this: you donate new unwrapped toys that are then given to needy children who otherwise might not get Christmas presents.

It sounds good, doesn't it? One not commonly known thing about the Toys for Tots program is that your kids can only get toys from it if you have a home address and a phone number. Don't believe me? Check out the FAQ section of their website. I'm not saying that I think Toys for Tots is a bad program - but I think it's very short sited for a charity (especially such a popular one) to only cater to certain socioeconomic stratas. Really, really poor people don't have homes, let alone phone numbers. They just don't.

My point is this: if you're going to give money (or its equivalent) this holiday season, make sure you really know where it's going and what good it will do. I'd argue that one of the best things you can give is your time. But not in the celebrity-soup-kitchen-photo-op kind of way. Because that's just dumb.

Finals

If nothing else, I've managed to at least get an A in my one credit Psych Lab this semester. I've also learned a costly but invaluable lesson about how easily the higher education system can screw you if it so chooses. Let's just call it a "hard semester" and move on.

Talking about Africa on World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day. I haven't even been back in DC for 24 hours (and since I've been back I haven't set foot off campus) so while I'd like to go see the big red ribbon at the White House or go to Starbucks for their first day of partnership with (PRODUCT) RED, today is just not the day. Today, however, is the day for the launch of the new Mocha Club campaign that I did a very sub par job of blogging about a week ago. Although my blogging may have been bad (It was the day before I went home for Thanksgiving break, what do you expect?) the idea is totally not. Here's a little snippet:

I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME

When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. “I am needed here,” I think. “They have so little, and I have so much.” It’s true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in the people. It’s a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day. [read more]

So, who's on board to start a team with me? For only $7 a month (which is the price of two mochas, hence the name) you can help to support a number of projects: child mothers, education, HIV/AIDS, job creation, orphan care, and Sudan regrowth. All of Mocha Club's work is done through trained indigenous leaders - which is enormously cool - and through them supporters receive monthly updates on exactly where their money is going. Personally, I want one of the "I need Africa more than Africa needs me" t-shirts. So, go check out the website. Really. It's worth it. I know that even on the days when I'm feeling most poor I can still rationalize paying for a $4 grande carmel apple spice at Starbucks. This is the same thing, just better.

(If you're not feeling convinced yet, here's a video that might help.

The Final Day

Tomorrow is the first of December. Obvious, yes, but also insane.

Day 29

Being home has been nice and all. But it doesn't feel like being home, ya know? Well, actually, you probably don't know. Maybe you do. But I've hardly elaborated on that thought at all. So how could you really know what I mean? So, yeah, you probably don't.

In 24 hours I'll be on my way to the airport. Which will mean at least 2 weeks of not fighting about who gets to use the car.

Black Friday

Today I:

• Dyed my hair very, very red. I mean, red. I am bordering on Italian woman from Brooklyn red. Which means purple.
• Had lunch with an old boyfriend.
• Am going to the Walker Art Museum with my great step-grandmother.
• Am going to see Kimya Dawson.
  

Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving! This holiday has changed a lot since I was a kid. Not literally changed, all of the traditions are the same - you eat turkey, you see family, you maybe talk about what you're thankful for that year. Whatever. But what I do on Thanksgiving has changed.

As I was growing up we celebrated with a small dinner at my parent's house. My dad would cook the turkey, my mom would do the mashed potatoes and the gravy and the stuffing and the green beans. My dad's parents and his brother would come over. It was very small, but nice.

Nowadays, which really translates to "after the divorce", I go to two celebrations. One is big and involves a family football game. The other is small and involves a restaurant. I'm getting used to it.

Normal

We are all still quite capable of fighting with each other.

End of the Tunnel

I've made it. All I have to do now is pack. And get to the airport.

Mocha Club

I was asked by Mocha Club to blog about why I need Africa more than Africa needs me. Mocha Club is a is a community-based website where members can start a team and invite friends to join them in giving $7 a month – the cost of 2 mochas – to support a project in Africa. Mocha Club's vision is to provide a way for people who don't have hundreds or thousands of dollars to make a difference in Africa.

I've only been to Africa once. It was the trip of a lifetime. I spent two weeks in South Africa, visiting both Cape Town and Johannesburg. Some people have told me that what I saw wasn't "real Africa", but I don't think that's necessarily true. Spending time in the township of Guguletu (I also briefly visited Soweto, but spent most of the trip in or around Gugs) certainly seemed real enough as I encountered HIV/AIDS, hunger, and poverty firsthand.

Realism

Things I would like to do today:

• Get a pedicure
• Take a long nap
• Read "Rough Magic: A Biography of Sylvia Plath"
• Go out to eat

Things I will actually do today:

• Write a paper about the importance of family in Exodus
• Update my other blog with a nice long post on what I learned at my unpaid internship
• Research and write a lab report on the importance of wording in questionnaires
• Maybe some laundry

Greetings From Philadelphia

Contrary to what some TV show titles might suggest it is not always sunny in Philadelphia. It's 30 degrees here right now, which is actually quite cold.

Heading Out

It seems like I haven't slept since Wednesday morning. That may well be true, actually, but it seems of little importance now that I can finally see my way through to Tuesday night, home, and Thanksgiving. I have taken on a striking resemblance to a cancer patient in the past few days. So, I think I'll take a shower and go to Philadelphia.

The Experience of Poetry

Do you want to write a 5 page paper on "Theme for English B" by Langston Hughes? Okay.

Make a claim about the speaker and the act of writing. How does the speaker "talk" to Harlem, to himself, and to his white instructor? How is Hughes's poem shaped by the speaker's...

Aack.

I had a psychic dream!

Today was the last day of my internship. I garnished it with a spreadsheet made in Microsoft Visio.

Reverse Haiku

Feels like Wednesday
Am one day ahead
But feel so, so far behind

Tastes like 7th Grade

"We brew Samuel Adams OctoberFest to celebrate the arrival of autumn. This hearty lager is rich with a blend of five malts, carefully balanced with hand-selected Noble hops. Samuel Adams OctoberFest is a classical beer style brewed in the finest American tradition. Cheers!"

They aren't lying.

Not Depressed

I guess I will choose laundry, sorting and folding clothes, changing sheets, and organizing the closet over a life of squalor. Somebody needs to hide the beer before tomorrow.

Dick Move

Waiting until I fall asleep to put your clothes on and leave.

Incapacitated

I am waking up in just a few hours to catch a train to Baltimore. I will then journey to Raven's Stadium to see Notre Dame play Navy. Let us keep our fingers crossed.

Friday Afternoon Nap

The important things are done. I bought train tickets and have game tickets for ND vs. Navy tomorrow. Lots of stuff coming up, but right now, a nap.

Business as Usual

"Don't guys dream about waking up to a semi-naked woman crawling all over them?"
"No. Guys dream about waking up to a blow job."
"Hmmph. Well, I dream about coming home to a nice breakfast that you've made me and a warm, fluffy blanket."
At this point he has started to rearrange the bedding and I think that maybe it's only a matter of time until my dream comes true.
*Wonk*
My head is hit against the headboard as he tries to wrangle me into a semblance of sleep.
"Oh, I get it. You're trying to give me a concussion. 'This'll taste so good, you won't even want tea.' Thanks."

Day 6 Nubbin

George Bush is going to spend the last 68 days of his presidency spying on me. No, really, he is. Rachel Maddow told me. Let me further evidence this story by telling you that when I got to work this morning ther were emails waiting on my computer. From the future.

CVS

The CVS Pharmacy slogan is "pharmacists who care." More like "pharmacists who totally didn't pay attention in school" or "pharmacists who can't work a computer worth a damn."

Traffic Circles

Today I drove in DC for the first time. And no one died. This should not be a milestone, but it is.

Question

Is it wrong to keep a tally of friends who forgot my birthday? And then to divide that tally into important friends and non-important friends? Probably.

Anyway. Yesterday was a day for brunch, the mall (blech), and Ethiopian food. Today is a day for breaking in new pairs of shoes and wandering around Georgetown. And maybe getting a manicure? I don't know.

Getting older and not much better

The only famous person who shares my birthday is Tara Reid. Okay, she's not the only famous person. There's also Milton Bradley, Bram Stoker, and Parker Posey. And the guy who discovered Halley's comet. But really. Slim pickings.

Um, I just got an Edible Arrangements delivery.

Diary Excerpt

11/07/2008

Birthday tomorrow. Let's not talk about it. [Mindless details about past birthdays]. Mom is coming in at some point this afternoon - I realize a time will come (perhaps sooner than I think) when it won't be possible for her to come and attempt to rescue me. [Mindless details about gifts I hope to receive]. I have spent all of Poetry class writing on my thigh to cheat on my Abnormal Psych test. I still hate Robert Frost. I had a dream last night that I couldn't drive anymore. I also had a dream that told me to pluck my eyebrows. So I did.

***

Okay, McDonalds, I know that we've been indulging in each other quite often as of late. Me in your McNuggets, you in my debit card. But let us not pretend that any of your food options are a "meal". (A cunt girl told me I was pathetic for writing test answers on my thing. Cunt. Running is not a sport. Cunt.)*

* This happened as I was walking out of "The Experience of Poetry". She really felt the need to stop me and say "Sorry, but I think it's pathetic that you were writing answers on your thigh." I mention the part about running not being a sport because she is one of those people who wears running shoes at all times.

Note: I did not use any of my thigh-cheats in the end. Mostly because I was stunned/stung by running shoes's remark, but also because I had already done a pretty kickass job of memorizing the stuff I needed to know. Take this acronym for the 5 layers of erotic life, for example. The five layers are:
1. Gender Identity
2. Sexual Orientation
3. Sexual Preference
4. Sex Role
5. Sexual Performance
I remembered this as GOPRP (Grand Old Party, Republican Party). It's good, right? I thought so.

I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9

I just put the finishing touches on a paper titled "It’s a Jungle Out There: Maximization Strategy vs. Equalization Strategy in Mate Selection". I seem to get a lot more out of this title than the other people I've shared it with. Hmm.

I just want to read "The Bell Jar"

Buried in a pile of informed consent forms, debriefing forms, lab reports, study guides, Emily Dickinson, Walt Whitman, and a book on language death. And assholes. Did I mention assholes?

I am happy, though. Really. I'm happy. I'm in DC. I'm where it's all happening. I didn't quite have it in me to run over to the White House after they called Barack's victory, but I did run around the quad cheering. And I drank a celebratory glass of sparkling kosher grape juice during the acceptance speech.

Waiting for 270

Me, voting for the first time

Despite having an absolutely shit day, I'm thrilled by the election returns. "It's looking, shall we say, exceedingly grim for John McCain right now," says Wolf Blitzer. Music to my ears, Wolf. Music to my ears. I have the kosher sparkling grape juice chilling in the mini-fridge. Here's hoping the only thing they make me do at work tomorrow is celebrate!

Sexlection

My roommate and I have been bouncing around various questions on the theme of "How long do you think it has been since Barack and Michelle have had sex?"

Instead of boring you with my election anxiety, I offer you two links on this theme:

The Playboy Presidential Sex Quiz and Babeland's genius voting incentive.

Unfortunately I won't be in Babeland proximity for this one, but Starbucks, Krispy Kreme, and Ben & Jerry's are also doing election day freebies.

I wonder...

I'm glad to see that Fannie Mae is sponsoring a Help the Homeless Walkathon. But really, at this point, shouldn't Fannie be trying to help herself?

Day 1: In which I rehash, and use bullet points

So, NaBloPoMo. It's here, and I'm going for it. I'm kind of appalled that it's November already. November is the month of my birthday (a week from today, in fact) and also the month of Thanksgiving. Both of these things used to excited me. Now they just make me uneasy.

One precedent to November 1st is, of course, Halloween. So, let's talk about that. Mine consisted of:

• a sobbing phone call to my mother
• a cobbled together aviator costume
• an impromptu meetup with several people I haven't seen in about 5 months
• wandering aimlessly around Georgetown
  
• drinking boxed wine out of a MinuteMaid apple juice bottle
• shouting at passersby that our tin-foil wrapped group member was, in fact, the Tin-Man and not a Chipotle burrito
• putting my new Nikon Coolpix to good use
• ending the night at a party I DID NOT mean to go to
• having an excellent time at a party I DID NOT mean to go to
  
• crappy beer (Keystone Light)

So far, today has consisted of:

• angry text messages from my ex-boyfriend
• a headache
  

Scheduled Delays

Holding off on posting until NaBloPoMo starts.

Quote of the Day

"Helen Keller went blind from jungle fever!"

Chapel Hill

I haven't been to a Notre Dame game since October 21st, 2006 when the Irish beat UCLA and Brady Quinn high-fived me as the team walked down to the stadium. A few days ago Quinn endorsed McCain. I think I may be experiencing cognitive dissonance.

Anyhow. There is nothing quite like being in South Bend on game day. You light a candle at the grotto, buy a sweatshirt from the bookstore, eat a steak sandwich on the quad, and watch the players file out of the cathedral and make their way to the field. That said, it's all about going to the game, isn't it? Tomorrow I am going to the game.

Edited to add: Clearly I was not expecting us to lose. Which sucked.

On Blogging

"You can't be a blogger if you're going to be a snot. Behave. Love, Mom."

"I think being a blogger is all about being a snot."

The Second Debate

Well. That was phenomenally boring. The only thing I appreciated about the town hall format was watching John McCain try to prove his vitality by not sitting down. Maybe I was distracted by the meatloaf and brownies I made for dinner, and the bus ticket I was trying to book. But, really. Not engaging.

Recapping

I just finished watching the first part of Diane Sawyer's Portrait of a President 20/20 special. John McCain is old. And his mother is 96. Jesus.

Everyone is still buzzing about the one and only VP debate. Here is my running commentary from last night:

• Gwen Ifill is here to moderate this debate.
• Why is there only one VP debate? Who decides these things?
• I think Sarah Palin just wiped her nose before shaking Biden’s hand.
• “Hey, can I call you Joe?” Jesus Christ. Really?
• How do they get her bangs to sit like that?
• Biden sounds knowledgeable, but if I have to listen to any more Wall Street/homeowners/bailout/taxpayer talk…
• Sarah Palin thinks we need a barometer to measure if we’re having a good economic time or a bad economic time. It is a bad time.
• Sarah Palin thinks American parents (on the sidelines of a soccer game) are fearful about how they’re going to afford to send their kids to college. Not a concern for her!
• You know, when I did mock trial the girls weren’t allowed to wear their hair down because it wasn’t professional/serious enough. Sarah Palin’s half ponytail would not have made it in the (fake) courtroom. Really. I was once yelled at for wearing a pink headband.
• Sarah Palin is touting herself as a member of a team of mavericks. She also just said “darn right!”
• Sarah Palin is going to “talk straight to the American people.” Scary!
• Well Palin just called Biden “Senator O’Biden.”
• And she is one of those people who pronounces nuclear as nuculer.
• This gay marriage section is painful.
• I would love to show Sarah Palin a blank world map and ask her to point out Iraq.
• Joe Biden just said something about “…there have been 700 madrasas built…we need to be building schools…” Um. A madrasa is a school.
• It’s nuclear. Not nuculer. Let’s just set that one straight right now.
• Sarah Palin thinks we need to support Israel to ensure that there is not a second Holocaust. The Holocaust didn’t happen in Israel, lady. In fact, Israel was a result of the Holocaust. Do we need to ensure there is no second Israel? Maybe that’s not such a bad point.
• “I beg to disagree” is not a turn of phrase that I’m familiar with. Is this an Alaskan thing?
• What’s the policy on using a vice presidential debate to do shout outs to your brother’s third grade class?
• Sarah Palin’s accent is so closely related to a stereotypical Minnesotan accent that I’m ashamed.*
• Biden is pulling the heartstrings here with the dead first wife and daughter and all. Oh boy.
• I’ve been trying to figure out how Palin’s makeup artist gets her cheekbones to look like that. I think I’ve figured it out. It’s just an optical illusion.
• I really doubt that Sarah Palin’s family is that diverse.
• Her closing statement was so bland that I chose to read Joe Biden’s Wikipedia page instead of listening to it.
• I like Biden and all, but Scranton, PA sounds pretty shitty and he should probably stop bringing it up.
• God bless America! God bless our troops! The end!
• Palin’s bringing the family up on stage. Where’s Bristol at?
• Oh God the families are meeting each other. This is like the end of a really bad Yankees/Red Sox game.
• Anderson Cooper is here now. Everything will be fine.

* The StarTribune ran an article today about Palin's near Minnesotan accent. The main source quoted in the article is a guy named Joe Salmons, who is described as the "...director of the Center for the Study of Upper Midwestern Cultures at the University of Wisconsin-Madison." Now that's a specialty.

Tiebreaker 2008

Can the Twins pull it off?

"The Debate That Almost Wasn't"

Living on a college campus in DC means that politics permeate everything. So, of course, I waited to go out tonight until the debate was over. This is my running commentary, in bullet point form:

• “Where do you stand on the financial plan/$700 billion bailout?” Okay, wow, we’re jumping right into it. Barack Obama is looking straight at me. Hi, Barack. Ooh, Wall Street vs. Main Street. Nice. Giving the middle class a fair shake. And bake.
• McCain has a sob story for us: Ted Kennedy, a dear friend, is in the hospital. Well, clearly, not that close, since you didn’t get the text that he is back home at the Kennedy compound. Oh, you decided to go with the Wall Street/Main Street comparison as well? Fine.
• Barack is optimistic that we can come together with a financial plan. I guess that means I am too?
• McCain warned about corporate greed. With his 13 cars. And now we’re talking about Eisenhower – and other things no one else was alive for.
• Barack thinks we need to solve short-term financial problems and also look at underlying causes. This sounds like some kind of homework assignment.
• McCain is acknowledging the hearing problems that come with old age.
• McCain thinks we need to fix the economic system – “There are problems in the system.” Well, like, yeah.
• McCain is making a point about how “Earmarking is a gateway drug to out of control spending and corruption.” Don’t the terms earmarking and pork barrel spending just kind of make you think of the bulk rawhide bins at Petco?
• Rich people shouldn’t get reduced taxes. “We’ve gotta grow the economy from the bottom up.” It’s a nice idea, Barack. I’m going to go buy the Marc Jacobs tote bag off of the runway section of your online store.
• McCain is already referring to himself as “the sheriff” 18 minutes in.
• I want Barack Obama to tuck me in at night. That’s probably some kind of awful sexual innuendo I’m not aware of, but really, when he looks straight at the camera and says “back on track” I feel like everything’s going to be okay.
• “Look at ‘em, my friends.” I don’t know what he’s talking about, pork barrel something, but John McCain is not my friend. And I am not looking at ‘em.
• We are discussing the definition of rich. Apparently Obama doesn’t consider me to be rich.
• Obama wants to let us in on a secret: McCain plans to tax health benefits. Good to know. McCain wants to tell us about legislative bills that are “festooned with Christmas ornaments.”
• “As president, as a result of whatever financial rescue plan that comes about, and whatever it’s going to cost, what are you going to have to give up, in terms of priorities…” I kind of lost Jim Lehrer there. CNN is now paraphrasing this question like so: “As president, what will you have to give up in terms of spending?”
• John McCain opposes ethanol subsidies. Great. Does that mean he can get rid of those terrible pro high-fructose corn syrup commercials? They’re basically the same thing.
• Even I’m surprised that no one cheered when Obama said that he opposes “George Bush’s wrongheaded policies.”
• Jim Lehrer would like to remind us “One of you is going to be the president of the United States, come January.” Somehow this idea still kind of startles me.
• I am going to write a song titled Medicare Subsidy.
• Nuclear power scares me.
• The Twins are losing 6-0? What?
• The frosting on this peanut butter cupcake I’m eating is really good.
• John McCain would like you to know that we owe China $500 billion. And that’s why the Olympics sucked.
• Barack just used the phrase “orgy of spending.” Oh, wow.
• 38 minutes in and McCain has finally referred to himself as a maverick.
• McCain visited Iraq before Sarah Palin had even applied for a passport.
• We are winning in Iraq? If you say so…
• Not at all surprised that Barack is patting himself on the back for voting against the war.
• I just noticed that the strange line graph at the bottom of the screen is not, in fact, a logo as I had previously assumed. It is a gauge of audience reaction, with different colored lines for Republicans, Democrats and Independents. It kind of looks like that stock ticker that shows up at the top of your AIM buddy list.
• “I’m afraid senator Obama doesn’t understand the difference between a tactic and a strategy.” Ouch.
• How long is this thing? Why is Obama wearing a red tie? Shouldn’t he be wearing a blue one?
• Obama just said that we should capture and kill Bin Laden. Barack, aren’t we more proponents of the life in jail thing?
• I think McCain just accidentally said sexpectations.
• Oh wow we’re actually talking about Afghanistan. Lara Logan would be proud.
• War is really unbelievably boring. I feel like I’m in a history class. Surges, terrain, tribes, strategy, new strategy, allegiance…
• Even McCain admits that George Bush shouldn’t say some things out loud. Like Pakistan. Actually I think he was criticizing Obama there. But it could’ve been Bush. Don’t say Pakistan.
• Everyone is just really confident in Petraeus, huh?
• At least Barack talks about conflicts with interesting language like “we coddled Musharraf.”
• Before I was born, back in 1983 when John McCain was a newly elected congressman, the person he most admired was Ronald Reagan. Mistake.
• John McCain can’t pronounce Kosovo. I organized a bake sale for Kosovo in 3rd grade.
• I really can’t make jokes about this dead soldiers and bracelets business. But I have some ideas.
• At the one-hour mark we are even on time. Jim says this is remarkable.
• “Iran is a threat to Israel and the region… We cannot allow a second Holocaust.” Whoa there, Johnny boy. Whoa. I don’t think this guy understands the Holocaust.
• The phrase “putting IEDs into Iraq, which are killing them” makes me think of a faulty IUD being inserted into the uterus.
• Listen, I hate Ahmadinejad as much as the next guy, but at least learn to pronounce his name.
• I’m Jewish and all, I fully intend to go on Birthright and all of that, but really. This Israel love is just out of proportion.
• McCain really wants us to know that he has known Kissinger for 35 years.
• The next question is RUSSIA! Sarah Palin can see it from her house! NATO, Cold War, nuclear proliferation. You know.
• While John McCain would like to point out that Obama’s thoughts on Russia indicate a bit of naiveté, I would like to point out that McCain can’t pronounce naiveté.
• I just had the second half of that peanut butter cupcake smashed into my face. I missed about 8 minutes there.
• The TV is getting all pixely and crapping out.
• Now it’s just frozen.
• It seems we are making closing points.
• Obama is fearless. He looks straight at the camera.
• Closing points are nice, warm, fuzzy things like education (Obama) and veterans (McCain).
• Now we set our sights on Thursday and the vice presidential candidates.

Post debate commentary seems to consist of a panel of assholes with credentials arguing about who "won" this round. And, hopefully, Anderson Cooper.