Diary Excerpt

11/07/2008

Birthday tomorrow. Let's not talk about it. [Mindless details about past birthdays]. Mom is coming in at some point this afternoon - I realize a time will come (perhaps sooner than I think) when it won't be possible for her to come and attempt to rescue me. [Mindless details about gifts I hope to receive]. I have spent all of Poetry class writing on my thigh to cheat on my Abnormal Psych test. I still hate Robert Frost. I had a dream last night that I couldn't drive anymore. I also had a dream that told me to pluck my eyebrows. So I did.

***

Okay, McDonalds, I know that we've been indulging in each other quite often as of late. Me in your McNuggets, you in my debit card. But let us not pretend that any of your food options are a "meal". (A cunt girl told me I was pathetic for writing test answers on my thing. Cunt. Running is not a sport. Cunt.)*

* This happened as I was walking out of "The Experience of Poetry". She really felt the need to stop me and say "Sorry, but I think it's pathetic that you were writing answers on your thigh." I mention the part about running not being a sport because she is one of those people who wears running shoes at all times.

Note: I did not use any of my thigh-cheats in the end. Mostly because I was stunned/stung by running shoes's remark, but also because I had already done a pretty kickass job of memorizing the stuff I needed to know. Take this acronym for the 5 layers of erotic life, for example. The five layers are:
1. Gender Identity
2. Sexual Orientation
3. Sexual Preference
4. Sex Role
5. Sexual Performance
I remembered this as GOPRP (Grand Old Party, Republican Party). It's good, right? I thought so.